This is a great blog entry by Dr. Laura on weight management.
Check it out, yo.
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Monday, November 10, 2008
Delving Deeper: Personal Hygiene
A dear friend asked me to delve deeper on this topic. So, here goes!
MEN
1. Shower daily. Please. You tend to get sweaty and that doesn't smell good.
2. Invest in some cologne, and then wear it. Women love cologne. I don't know a girl who doesn't love a man who smells good.
3. Shave daily. Facial hair on younger guys is so not attractive. Even if you think it's hot and displays your macho manliness, you are severely deluded. Scruff is all right--but not if you're kissing someone regularly. Do the girls in your life a favor and keep yourself cleanshaven.
4. Brush your teeth at least twice a day.
5. Deodorant. Cologne doesn't cover it.
WOMEN
1. You don't need to shower every day, unless you have sweat issues or greasy hair. But please, you should be showering at least three times a week.
2. Keep your legs and armpits shaved. No one should be subjected to your hairiness. If you don't like this rule, move to France or Canada.
3. Wear makeup. Even just a little eyeliner and mascara goes such a long way.
4. Brush your teeth at least twice a day.
I hope this just about covers it. If not, whoops. Write in and I'll fix it. And in the meantime, rock on implementing your personal hygiene plan!
MEN
1. Shower daily. Please. You tend to get sweaty and that doesn't smell good.
2. Invest in some cologne, and then wear it. Women love cologne. I don't know a girl who doesn't love a man who smells good.
3. Shave daily. Facial hair on younger guys is so not attractive. Even if you think it's hot and displays your macho manliness, you are severely deluded. Scruff is all right--but not if you're kissing someone regularly. Do the girls in your life a favor and keep yourself cleanshaven.
4. Brush your teeth at least twice a day.
5. Deodorant. Cologne doesn't cover it.
WOMEN
1. You don't need to shower every day, unless you have sweat issues or greasy hair. But please, you should be showering at least three times a week.
2. Keep your legs and armpits shaved. No one should be subjected to your hairiness. If you don't like this rule, move to France or Canada.
3. Wear makeup. Even just a little eyeliner and mascara goes such a long way.
4. Brush your teeth at least twice a day.
I hope this just about covers it. If not, whoops. Write in and I'll fix it. And in the meantime, rock on implementing your personal hygiene plan!
Sunday, November 9, 2008
Helpful Hint: Clothes and Skin Tone
Here is something I found from soyouwanna.com. Find your hair, eye, and skin color and look at the recommended colors for your personal coloring.
Here is another useful site.
* Deep (Vivid coloring)
Hair: Dark-Black, dark brown, chestnut, auburn.
Eyes: Deep-Brown, brown-black, hazel, rich green, olive.
Skin: Beige, olive, bronze.
Recommended colors: Those that are medium to deep in range, like navy, deep brown, blue, purple, charcoal gray, emerald green, mahogany.
* Light (Soft, delicate, fair coloring)
Hair: Light to dark blond, ash blond, golden blond.
Eyes: Blue, blue-green, green, aqua.
Skin: Light-Ivory to soft beige, pink, peach.
Recommended colors: Those that are medium to light and are neither too warm nor too cool, such as grayed-navy, blue-green, turquoise, cocoa, light to medium blue, coral pink, light to medium pink-orange.
* Bright (Contrast in color of hair and skin tone)
Hair: Medium to dark-Ash brown to golden brown, black.
Eyes: Bright and clear-Blue, blue-green, turquoise, steel gray, light hazel.
Skin: Light-Ivory, porcelain
, beige, translucent quality.
Recommended colors: Clear, primary colors like true red, true green, true blue. Also try aqua, violet, bright pink, periwinkle.
* Muted (Neutral look)
Hair: Medium range-Medium ash brown to dark ash blond.
Eyes: Gray-green, hazel, brown-green, brown, dark green.
Skin: Ivory, beige, bronze, golden. Freckles and ruddiness common.
Recommended colors: Soft, blended shades that are neither too warm nor too cool, including rose-brown, blue-green, salmon, rust, watermelon, medium green, warm pink.
* Warm (Total golden glow)
Hair: Medium range-Blond or brown with gold, red or strawberry highlights.
Eyes: Warm-Green, hazel, brown, topaz, blue-green, teal.
Skin: Golden-Beige, ivory, bronze. May have freckles.
Recommended colors: Those that reflect a golden tone, such as beige, peach, yellow, warm red, golden brown, camel, moss green.
* Cool (Softer look)
Hair: Ash brown.
Eyes: Cool-Rose-brown, gray-brown, gray-blue.
Skin: Cool-Beige, rose-beige, pink.
Recommended colors: Those that reflect a gray or blue tone, such as plum, lavender, burgundy, pink, blue-green, slate.
Here is another useful site.
Delving Deeper: Dressing for Men
Men don't have as much variety in shape as women do. Lucky for them. Basically, you have your two basic widths, fat and skinny, and your two basic heights, tall and short. Complex, I know. ^.~
BIGGER MEN
-Avoid all shirts with stripes other than vertical. Vertical is what you want. You love vertical stripes.
-Wear regular cut jeans.
-Please: wear things that fit you. No baggy clothes, no tight clothes. Both will just make you look even larger.
-Avoid T-shirts with prints on them (for example, Hawaiian T's). You don't need the eyes drawn to your bulk.
-Try wearing V-neck shirts. Thin fabrics are best for you.
-Keep your outfits color-coordinated. This isn't to say you should dress like Paris Hilton, just that you should avoid wearing colors together that contrast. Keep to the same color palate.
THINNER MEN
-You are the only group that can ever get away with horizontal stripes. Choose them wisely. A larger stripe across the chest will make you seem buffer.
-Vary your color palate--you can get away with a variety of colors in your outfit at once.
-Avoid loose shirts. Try to wear only fitted clothing.
-Lighter colors will make you look bigger. I don't know why guys always want to look bigger; I like skinny guys myself. But whatever. If you're feeling too anorexic-looking, wear paler colors.
-JUST SAY NO to skinny jeans. I'm sorry, but they are not for you.
Have fun looking awesome!
BIGGER MEN
-Avoid all shirts with stripes other than vertical. Vertical is what you want. You love vertical stripes.
-Wear regular cut jeans.
-Please: wear things that fit you. No baggy clothes, no tight clothes. Both will just make you look even larger.
-Avoid T-shirts with prints on them (for example, Hawaiian T's). You don't need the eyes drawn to your bulk.
-Try wearing V-neck shirts. Thin fabrics are best for you.
-Keep your outfits color-coordinated. This isn't to say you should dress like Paris Hilton, just that you should avoid wearing colors together that contrast. Keep to the same color palate.
THINNER MEN
-You are the only group that can ever get away with horizontal stripes. Choose them wisely. A larger stripe across the chest will make you seem buffer.
-Vary your color palate--you can get away with a variety of colors in your outfit at once.
-Avoid loose shirts. Try to wear only fitted clothing.
-Lighter colors will make you look bigger. I don't know why guys always want to look bigger; I like skinny guys myself. But whatever. If you're feeling too anorexic-looking, wear paler colors.
-JUST SAY NO to skinny jeans. I'm sorry, but they are not for you.
Have fun looking awesome!
Delving Deeper: Dressing for Women
I didn't think the last post really covered as many bases as I wished it had. So here are a few more tips, for women.
First, here is something we should all be aware of. It's called "body type."
This is a picture of the various female body types. The breakdown here is as follows: 46% of women have the Banana shape; 20% of women have the Pear shape; 14% of women have the Apple shape; and only about 8% of women have the Hourglass shape. Here I will quote from Wikipedia's page on the female body shape:
Clearly, these four shapes are very different--and so dressing them requires different things.
FOR PEAR WOMEN:
-Wear trouser-cut pants (pants with wider legs) Always avoid slim-leg pants, which draw attention to the hip. Avoid pockets entirely, and avoid pleats at all cost.
-Only wear dark colors on the bottom. This will make your hips look slimmer.
-When wearing jackets, go for ones with only one button. This will help you look better on top.
-Look for shirts that accentuate the bust, and which drape to the hips. My friend buys knee-length dresses and hems them to the length of a long shirt, and that looks great.
FOR APPLE WOMEN
-Use a rounded-square neckline if you have a large bust. A lower neckline will always look better with a large chest.
-Try emphasizing your waistline with a belt or ribbon.
-Elongate your figure with a knee-length jacket. This will make you look slimmer and deemphasize the heaviness of your upper body.
-If you wear stripes, please make sure they're vertical.
FOR BANANA WOMEN
-If you've got good arms, try a cap sleeve. I'm cautious about advising this because if your arms could possibly be construed as fat, they will with a cap.
-Try double-breasted jackets. Shirts with ruffles and nipped waists will bring out the curviness you want to show off.
-Pleated pants and skinny jeans were invented for you. Wear them.
-Avoid V-necks and plain T's. Stick to real blouses.
FOR HOURGLASS WOMEN
-Wear solid colors on top. This will elongate your figure.
-AVOID shapeless outfits. You should always be wearing one item of clothing that hugs your body and accentuates your curves.
-Wear only single-breasted jackets. Trust me, you do not need a double.
-Be sure to wear fitted blouses. A good bra is a must.
-Tailored pencil skirts and sheaths are a good look for you.
-Avoid boxiness at any cost.
Whew. Well, that was exciting. Good luck, ladies!
First, here is something we should all be aware of. It's called "body type."
This is a picture of the various female body types. The breakdown here is as follows: 46% of women have the Banana shape; 20% of women have the Pear shape; 14% of women have the Apple shape; and only about 8% of women have the Hourglass shape. Here I will quote from Wikipedia's page on the female body shape:
Banana or Straight
the waist circumference is at least 75% of the chest or hips circumferences, which are virtually the same. The body has a relatively high androgen level compared to the estrogen level, and this causes the skeleton to develop in a more masculine pattern and body fat to be distributed predominantly around the waist.
Apple (Triangle downward)
the waist circumference is at most 75% of the chest circumference, and the chest circumference is at least 110% of the hips circumference. Body fat distribution tends to begin in the arms, shoulders, chest and upper abdomen first.
Pear or Spoon or Bell (Triangle upward)
the waist circumference is at least 75%[citation needed] of the chest circumference, and the hips circumference is at least 110%[citation needed] of the chest circumference. The distribution of fat varies, with fat tending to deposit first in the buttocks, hips and thighs. As body fat percentage increases, an increasing proportion of body fat is distributed around the waist and upper abdomen.
Hourglass shape (Triangles opposing, facing in)
the waist circumference is less than 75% of the chest or hips circumferences, which are virtually the same. Body fat distribution tends to be around both the upper body and lower body. This body type enlarges the arms, breasts, hips and rear before other parts, including waist and upper abdomen. Due to the preference shown to physical symmetry, many celebrities falsely claim hourglass measurements but actually rate closer to a straight figure or apple.
Clearly, these four shapes are very different--and so dressing them requires different things.
FOR PEAR WOMEN:
-Wear trouser-cut pants (pants with wider legs) Always avoid slim-leg pants, which draw attention to the hip. Avoid pockets entirely, and avoid pleats at all cost.
-Only wear dark colors on the bottom. This will make your hips look slimmer.
-When wearing jackets, go for ones with only one button. This will help you look better on top.
-Look for shirts that accentuate the bust, and which drape to the hips. My friend buys knee-length dresses and hems them to the length of a long shirt, and that looks great.
FOR APPLE WOMEN
-Use a rounded-square neckline if you have a large bust. A lower neckline will always look better with a large chest.
-Try emphasizing your waistline with a belt or ribbon.
-Elongate your figure with a knee-length jacket. This will make you look slimmer and deemphasize the heaviness of your upper body.
-If you wear stripes, please make sure they're vertical.
FOR BANANA WOMEN
-If you've got good arms, try a cap sleeve. I'm cautious about advising this because if your arms could possibly be construed as fat, they will with a cap.
-Try double-breasted jackets. Shirts with ruffles and nipped waists will bring out the curviness you want to show off.
-Pleated pants and skinny jeans were invented for you. Wear them.
-Avoid V-necks and plain T's. Stick to real blouses.
FOR HOURGLASS WOMEN
-Wear solid colors on top. This will elongate your figure.
-AVOID shapeless outfits. You should always be wearing one item of clothing that hugs your body and accentuates your curves.
-Wear only single-breasted jackets. Trust me, you do not need a double.
-Be sure to wear fitted blouses. A good bra is a must.
-Tailored pencil skirts and sheaths are a good look for you.
-Avoid boxiness at any cost.
Whew. Well, that was exciting. Good luck, ladies!
Tip #10: Dressing to Date
Here's the deal. Do you want to date an ugly person?
Do you want to date someone who doesn't care about what he or she looks like?
Um. I doubt that you do.
While it's true that we should all want people who value our insides more than our outsides, and while it's true that we should all be people who value insides more than outsides, the hard truth is that the external side of people matters. It does.
My personal rule: if you can't kiss it, don't date it. They say not to judge a book by its cover, and you shouldn't, generally speaking. But in dating, especially if you're dating for marriage, it's probably smarter to sort all the books by their covers and then start reading the insides of the books whose covers you can stand. :o)
So, where does that leave us?
That leaves us with the responsibility of looking as good as we possibly can.
There are a few things we all can do to make ourselves look better. Showering regularly and keeping up with personal hygiene is a given. Avoiding all shirts with horizontal stripes is also a good idea. For women, wearing a little makeup is smart, as is doing your hair. For men, I don't think going totally metro is the way to go, necessarily, because a lot of girls may think you're gay. However, you can invest in some nice darkwash jeans and some casual button-up collared shirts. Those look good on basically everyone.
How you look shouldn't matter, but it does. If you're not dating as much as you'd like, the sad truth is that it may have something to do with how you are treating and dressing your body. A good way to up your chances with dating is to take better care of how you look. Amen.
Do you want to date someone who doesn't care about what he or she looks like?
Um. I doubt that you do.
While it's true that we should all want people who value our insides more than our outsides, and while it's true that we should all be people who value insides more than outsides, the hard truth is that the external side of people matters. It does.
My personal rule: if you can't kiss it, don't date it. They say not to judge a book by its cover, and you shouldn't, generally speaking. But in dating, especially if you're dating for marriage, it's probably smarter to sort all the books by their covers and then start reading the insides of the books whose covers you can stand. :o)
So, where does that leave us?
That leaves us with the responsibility of looking as good as we possibly can.
There are a few things we all can do to make ourselves look better. Showering regularly and keeping up with personal hygiene is a given. Avoiding all shirts with horizontal stripes is also a good idea. For women, wearing a little makeup is smart, as is doing your hair. For men, I don't think going totally metro is the way to go, necessarily, because a lot of girls may think you're gay. However, you can invest in some nice darkwash jeans and some casual button-up collared shirts. Those look good on basically everyone.
How you look shouldn't matter, but it does. If you're not dating as much as you'd like, the sad truth is that it may have something to do with how you are treating and dressing your body. A good way to up your chances with dating is to take better care of how you look. Amen.
Saturday, November 8, 2008
Enlightenment: Why You're Never Asked Out By the Guy You Like
Okay. Going back to my other post about girls not asking guys out: have you ever noticed that people usually get asked out on dates by the guys they're not interested in?
Have you ever wondered why?
It's because when you're interested in a guy, it's the most natural thing to do to flirt with him. And let him know you're interested.
And do you know what this does?
It removes the challenge.
Can you see how not good this is? And does it make sense why it's only the guys you're not interested in that go after you?
Do yourself a favor and start treating the guys you like as if they really weren't that special to you (at least before you're officially Together). You'll be amazed at how your odds will change.
Just remember--sometimes things don't work out with the guys you'd like them to. Sometimes even acting completely uninterested won't do the trick. But just hang in there. You'll end up with someone even better.
Have you ever wondered why?
It's because when you're interested in a guy, it's the most natural thing to do to flirt with him. And let him know you're interested.
And do you know what this does?
It removes the challenge.
Can you see how not good this is? And does it make sense why it's only the guys you're not interested in that go after you?
Do yourself a favor and start treating the guys you like as if they really weren't that special to you (at least before you're officially Together). You'll be amazed at how your odds will change.
Just remember--sometimes things don't work out with the guys you'd like them to. Sometimes even acting completely uninterested won't do the trick. But just hang in there. You'll end up with someone even better.
Tip #9: Girls: How to Reject a Date
I'm always kind of a hater with guys because most of them don't know how to ask a girl out. But guys, fear not: I'm also a hater with girls, because many of them don't know how to reject an unwanted date.
Ladies: accepting a date is pretty simple. A guy asks you out, and you say yes. Cool.
Obviously, rejecting a date is much more difficult. You have this sweet guy who's just put himself on the line by asking you out, and you're busy--or just plain not interested. Now what?
My personal rule is, in casual dating, if you can't go or don't want to go, you give the same answer: a simple "no." None of this suggesting another time business. You want a guy who'll work to get you, right?
Still, many girls can't wrap their minds around this, and boys often are just too lame to try again, so girls, if you like this guy, just suggest another time when you're not busy. I guess.
But that's not the messy bit. The messy bit is ending the weird non-relationship you have going on with the guy who wants to take you out, but you don't want to go with. This is the hard part.
My rules here allow for two options:
1. Just say no thanks. If he presses you on it, just tell him it is "simply impossible." It looks a little archaic here on this blog, but trust me: it works like magic. Just adamantly protest that going out with him is simply impossible, and let the chips fall where they may.
2. Say no and leave it at that. And if he asks you out again later, just flat-out tell him that you're not interested.
Many girls have a One Date Rule. That's to say, they won't reject a guy without going on at least one date with him first.
I think that's a nice rule, but it's not for everyone. Certainly not for me. So don't feel too bad if you decide to reject someone flat out--but remember that you just might be missing out on someone fantastic. Most people deserve a chance.
Ladies: accepting a date is pretty simple. A guy asks you out, and you say yes. Cool.
Obviously, rejecting a date is much more difficult. You have this sweet guy who's just put himself on the line by asking you out, and you're busy--or just plain not interested. Now what?
My personal rule is, in casual dating, if you can't go or don't want to go, you give the same answer: a simple "no." None of this suggesting another time business. You want a guy who'll work to get you, right?
Still, many girls can't wrap their minds around this, and boys often are just too lame to try again, so girls, if you like this guy, just suggest another time when you're not busy. I guess.
But that's not the messy bit. The messy bit is ending the weird non-relationship you have going on with the guy who wants to take you out, but you don't want to go with. This is the hard part.
My rules here allow for two options:
1. Just say no thanks. If he presses you on it, just tell him it is "simply impossible." It looks a little archaic here on this blog, but trust me: it works like magic. Just adamantly protest that going out with him is simply impossible, and let the chips fall where they may.
2. Say no and leave it at that. And if he asks you out again later, just flat-out tell him that you're not interested.
Many girls have a One Date Rule. That's to say, they won't reject a guy without going on at least one date with him first.
I think that's a nice rule, but it's not for everyone. Certainly not for me. So don't feel too bad if you decide to reject someone flat out--but remember that you just might be missing out on someone fantastic. Most people deserve a chance.
Tip #8: Asking Her Out
So, now that we've established that women should never ask men out--now what?
Well. Here is a sad truth: most men have no clue as to how to ask a woman on a date.
Here is an example of a guy asking a girl on a date:
Clueless guy: Hey, you free during the weekend at all?
Girl: Uhhh...
This is clearly a failing way to ask a girl out. The guy is being way too vague. And "vague" is not the message you want to send, I'm pretty sure. Not if you mean it about this girl.
Clueless guy: Hey, do you want to go out with me sometime?
Girl: Uhh....
This is also a failing way to ask a girl out. If she doesn't want to go out with you, what is she supposed to say? Awkward!
The correct way to ask a girl out has a very specific format.
So, here is an example of the proper way to do it:
Guy: Hey! Sarah, if you're free this Friday, I was wondering if you'd like to come ice skating with me at around 7 o'clock.
Here is another example:
Guy: Elizabeth, would you like to come with me to the opera on Saturday? It starts at 8, so we'd probably want to leave around 5, and I'd like to take you out to dinner, too. You in?
And another:
Guy: Lisa, I just got tickets to the ballet showing this Friday night at 7:30. Would you like to come with me?
These are good examples because they include the time, date, and activity, and any girl who couldn't tell those were dates would be crazy.
Guys: PLEASE learn how to ask girls out! Practice these techniques! They are important!
Well. Here is a sad truth: most men have no clue as to how to ask a woman on a date.
Here is an example of a guy asking a girl on a date:
Clueless guy: Hey, you free during the weekend at all?
Girl: Uhhh...
This is clearly a failing way to ask a girl out. The guy is being way too vague. And "vague" is not the message you want to send, I'm pretty sure. Not if you mean it about this girl.
Clueless guy: Hey, do you want to go out with me sometime?
Girl: Uhh....
This is also a failing way to ask a girl out. If she doesn't want to go out with you, what is she supposed to say? Awkward!
The correct way to ask a girl out has a very specific format.
NECESSARY ELEMENTS IN ASKING A GIRL OUT
-the date
-the time
-the activity
-at least some sort of signal clarifying that it is, in fact, a date
So, here is an example of the proper way to do it:
Guy: Hey! Sarah, if you're free this Friday, I was wondering if you'd like to come ice skating with me at around 7 o'clock.
Here is another example:
Guy: Elizabeth, would you like to come with me to the opera on Saturday? It starts at 8, so we'd probably want to leave around 5, and I'd like to take you out to dinner, too. You in?
And another:
Guy: Lisa, I just got tickets to the ballet showing this Friday night at 7:30. Would you like to come with me?
These are good examples because they include the time, date, and activity, and any girl who couldn't tell those were dates would be crazy.
Guys: PLEASE learn how to ask girls out! Practice these techniques! They are important!
Tip #7: Girls, NO Asking Boys Out!
The first rule of actual dating is that girls should NEVER ask boys out. This is a recipe for utter disaster.
Now, you'll hear a lot of dissent about this, mostly from men and feminists (who, in their own way, are practically men too). But let's think about this.
Girls, you want a guy you know cares about you and wants to be with you. True? True. And what surer way is there to know that the guy you're with cares about you, than to make him work for it?
This means:
1. NO asking him out.
2. NO talking to him first.
3. NO asking him to dance.
4. NO acting too interested.
It's true, as many guys will tell you, that many guys are nervous and afraid of being awkward. And they do appreciate the helpful hints that you like them. However, what does this really say about the guy?
I'm sorry, men. It says that you are wimpy and need to figure out how much you like this girl. If a man is THAT into a girl, nothing will stop him from doing anything he can to be with her, to figure her out. And ladies, that is the type of man you want. True fact. You want a man who will do anything to figure you out, because he cares that much.
So, please. Don't ask him out. Let him ask you out. This is the only way to know for sure that you're ending up with a guy who really cares about you.
Now, you'll hear a lot of dissent about this, mostly from men and feminists (who, in their own way, are practically men too). But let's think about this.
Girls, you want a guy you know cares about you and wants to be with you. True? True. And what surer way is there to know that the guy you're with cares about you, than to make him work for it?
This means:
1. NO asking him out.
2. NO talking to him first.
3. NO asking him to dance.
4. NO acting too interested.
It's true, as many guys will tell you, that many guys are nervous and afraid of being awkward. And they do appreciate the helpful hints that you like them. However, what does this really say about the guy?
I'm sorry, men. It says that you are wimpy and need to figure out how much you like this girl. If a man is THAT into a girl, nothing will stop him from doing anything he can to be with her, to figure her out. And ladies, that is the type of man you want. True fact. You want a man who will do anything to figure you out, because he cares that much.
So, please. Don't ask him out. Let him ask you out. This is the only way to know for sure that you're ending up with a guy who really cares about you.
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