Friday, July 11, 2008

Helpful Hint: Getting Over Grudges

If you still have issues in your life you struggle to get over, you may benefit from this exercise.

Pull out a piece of paper and make a list of all the things you have yet to forgive in your life. Identify who is to "blame" for these problems.

Now, try to think of every redeeming quality those people have, one at a time. Look at the things they have done to you that you can't get over. Might they have had your best interests in mind? Why do you feel the need to hold on to the feelings of anger, jealousy, hatred? Explain that on paper to yourself. After you're done, write a list of things you could begin remembering that could help you get over your past.

ALLIE'S SAMPLE GRUDGE LIST


WHAT
Harassing me about debates, being whiny and obnoxious

WHO
My Arch-Nemesis

What is good about my arch-nemesis?
-he has a girlfriend who loves him, so there must be something lovable there
-he reads a lot
-he cares about things
-he's proactive enough to bug me about stuff he finds important

These are all things I like: being proactive, expanding your mind, caring about important things.

Why did he do what he did?
Apparently, he wanted a chance to promote his ideas and advertise for our clubs in a more widely-advertised way.

Is there anything good about this?
Yes. I like to support my own ideas, and advertise for my club. His point of view is understandable.

Why do I need to hold onto this grudge? Is there anything keeping me from moving on?
...maybe not.

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